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I think about this blog frequently. I think about the different directions I've pulled it in; about all the directions I've been pulled in, myself! I ought to be more regular here.

I ought to be more regular in studying the things I want to pursue, too. Here's the hard truth though... When you're not in high school or college, but in the school of the self, there is no grading scale to push you forward. There are only two states you can be: Are you where you want to be? Or aren't you?

For me, I laugh at programmer jokes because I understand them. But can I sit down and write a program? Well, maybe a really short one. It might be good for a couple of computations, but you'll have to use the console to run it. I have a hard time calling myself a "programmer" at this point.

If I had spent the last year or so working nonstop on programming languages, namely C, I'd be able to say a lot more for myself than that, I think. But this isn't a pity party. This is recognition of the truth. If I had worked harder, I would have made more progress.

I took a few detours here and there, and dabbled some in HTML/CSS. It was a good feeling to be able to build my company a website, and, in turn, host my own website for a guild I own in Guild Wars 2. I've been commissioned for a third website by my father's band. I won't say that my time learning HTML and CSS has been wasted. Even so, I'm not very good at it, and other web developers will make me feel stunted because I don't know Javascript or PHP. I started learning PHP too, but got overwhelmed with keeping these languages straight.

Now, after all this time, I'm back in the C seat. There are several reasons for this decision: I have an applicable chunk of code that is open for manipulation. Every time I make headway in a chapter of a book, I go look at this code to see how much more of it I understand. This is my way of quantifying my progress. Can I write a program? Not yet. But I can start making a little more sense of how this program is written and that is loads more than I could do before I worked through that chapter.

I keep my Github updated with recent programs I've written with the goal of working through each programming project at the end of a chapter. Some chapters have 8 projects, but lately they have had upwards of 12 - 15. It's slow going, especially when I have a wedding to plan, a full-time job to work, and all I want to do when I get home is mindless stuff. But when I write a program, it goes there. Find my Github at this link, or in my bookmarks page.

I also want to expand on that bookmarks page a bit more. As I learn things and teach myself how to do more things, I want this to turn into a resource for other people in the same boat I'm in. Those who want to learn how to do this stuff because of a calling or an interest, but don't know where to start. I was inclined to delete the posts I made that were off-topic from C, but I will leave them. It just goes to show how sometimes, distractions happen. And even if you look back at them with some regrets, you still have the experience to show for it.

I hope to be able to post things that are less dreary and more fun in the near future. Fingers crossed!!